Last night after debating on whether I want to post an exquisite piece or not and inevitably leaning towards the “not” end of the stick, I come to a realization that I still have yet to contribute to the on-going phenomena in article writing that are List postAs an unaffiliated blogger, it is my duty, no, my honor to devote at least one noble post to the list category.

Of course, once I finally envisioned what I wanted to post, it was well past what I considered blogging hours, so now here we are executing yesterday’s task. As effortless and “lazy” list post are all chopped up to be, it actually took me a decent amount of reflection to conjure up a list-post that dings my interest accordingly, so I constructed two, well in a way. I plan to construct two is what that line should read, I am proficient at giving out empty promises after all. With the first being this post here and the second going up probably a blog or two later, Idk, I feel indifferent about dumping out two consecutive list-post, but we’ll see. The lower end of the list post spectrum seem to carry 5-10 items per post, I’ll just be doing however many I see fit.

Things I miss

  • Optimism

I miss the amount of optimism my kid self-embodied, not a worry in the world that anything would go wrong. Undoubtedly gaining such a frequency of better outlook was due to my mother. She’s that type of person that sees hope where there doesn’t seem to be any, even when everything seems far out of reach she never budges, the most impossible task is possible, it just takes time, is how she lived her life and still does. Me being her offspring, optimism was a given fundamental part of my personality. I never saw the wickedness in anything or anyone, Blinded by my own brightness I wasThe person I am today hasn’t lost all signs of hopefulness I’d say, its just that, getting past my first two decades in this So-called life hasn’t been smooth by any means, (as I’m sure most of us can agree with, unless you’re Leonardo) growing up and coming to a true understanding of the world and where you fit in it has annihilated any remanence of false hope within me. Yes, I’ve lost that “there’s always a bright side” side of me a while back by choice, that’s certain, “if ya miss it so much then just become an optimistic again”, you must be raging. I didn’t drop my optimistic outlook for a pessimistic perspective mind you, if that were the case I’d be dead. Having the mindset that everything and everyone is genuine and benevolent didn’t sit well with me after going homeless for the third or so time. Still having hope for better (what else is a kid with nothing gonna have) I cut all ties I had with this belief that goodness predominates over evil. My joyful expectations were slowly being devoured by the trueness that is life. Of course, things get better, I just stopped assuming they will. 

  • Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door

A favorite game of mine by far, probably would beat my #1 spot if Bioshock wasn’t a thing. Another Mario game, Yes, but what got me so attached to it wasn’t just the time frame from which I first played it but also has to do with the genre in which the game is placed in. Thousand was the first and only RPG style Mario game I’ve ever played, weird too because upon receiving the disc, I was no fan whatsoever. The thing took me literal years to beat, ( I gave up very early on in the game many times considering my lack in interest & skill for the virtue) definitely a challenge in itself, the immense jolt of bliss that came with the completion of the game years later was timeless. The game was made up of a few zones if you will, the zone I remember most prominently was the one that went by the name “Twilight Zone” coincidentally. What brings the Tzone to mind all the time whilst pondering on thousand wasn’t my love for the chapter, in fact, quite the opposite. I myself was not fond of the Tzone at all, for many reasons, it was a huge step up in difficulty within the game, and with it being only the second zone (don’t quote me on that, may have been third) only put me off even more, inevitably that piece was the means of my trail and error throughout the years. The Twilight zone was also a pretty eerie stage, ergo the naming, packed with tension around every corner with no shortage of enemies nor puzzles, when I ultimately beat the Tzone I knew this was the run, the run where I pull through and end this cycle of Twilight & quit. And so I did. Achieving conclusion for thousand after years of failure filled me with fulfillment, oh what I would give to sit down and play through that excellent venture of a game for hours upon hours in this day and age. Considering that I was quite young upon the first completion of thousand, I know for a fact a current playthrough of the game will leave me nothing short of full immersion, ill cut down those years it took to days, acting as if I haven’t thrown days worth of play-time into Battlefield and For Honor, I’ll gladly replace that spot with thousand.

  • Time

I’ve lectured a great deal about the topic of chronology on this blog, in fact, I’m positive that if I took just a few more seconds out of my day to categorize my post then “Time” would probably be the only category I need, other than LSD of course. I guess you can say this inclusion to the list-post is somewhat of a copout, in a sense that I can’t really miss something I have. What I truly miss was the amount of time I had, but “more free time” makes me sound busy and doesn’t run well for a subcategory title now does it. With my only task as a kid/young adult being “get good grades” and stay out of trouble I had the rest of the 24-hour day to my self, no homework that lasted for hours, (presumably because I never did it) no mid/late shift I desperately dread till the time actually arises, just me, time and how I chose to use it. My desire to have that amount of freedom throughout my days now has only grown with my discovering of daily Task Routines that must get done in order to maintain equilibrium in one’s survival. Plenty can get done in a day, especially if one uses all 24 hours effectively there should be no struggle for accomplishing multiple tasks with great importance, depending on how relevant and time consuming these task may be, however, the 24-hour clock may be just enough time to complete these given assignments, leaving few leftover moments to yourself. The number of times I’ve yearned for one more match, or a few more lines, I can’t end this post like that, but had to hit brakes due to work, the need to clean, school, responsibility, etc, has far exceeded my liking, I just want to take a drive from city to city rocking out to my favorite anthems without a care in the world of when, no rush.

Don’t fret, I’m not some sadistic teen in their 20s stuck in past-times, these are just true feelings I bear that I don’t see myself returning to any time soon. The second version of this List I talked about will delve into the things I currently have that I longed for way back when. Should be interesting.


Credit to my boy A for the Cover image!

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