Getting There

I find it tragic that someone can possess everything they’ve ever longed for from pearls & diamonds to money and loved ones but still retain from being happy. It’s a mystery that’ll most likely continue to be a mystery for someone like me, argue all you want I’ll never fully get the concept of not knowing what makes you happy, that’s a sense of loss if ya ask me. Now I’m not bagging those unfortunate enough to not discover what they truly desire in this life, more like questioning how did one get to such a state. Such a state to where you’ve strived for everything you’ve wanted, (past-tense) poured your blood, sweat and tears into working a job you long hated, dealt with people you could’ve lived without, went through trial and error for whatever that dream job of yours was (because let’s be real, not everyone’s lucky enough for that one-hit wonder status) all to finally receive what you’ve been waiting for and after getting used to the life you have portrayed for yourself years back, you suddenly realize, that this just isn’t it.

I’ve ran into many people with this problem, online, and the RL, happiness seems scarce these days, as I’m sure you’ve noticed, unfortunately I cannot demote myself to understand nor sympathize with those who don’t know what they’re aiming for for the rest of this longevity. Mainly because the situation I find myself in seems to be even more tragic than finding false happiness. I know exactly what I want, and once I get there I know for a fact It’ll be nothing but bliss & fulfillment, there’s no question about it, I haven’t been here this long to not enjoy the life I’ve been setting up for myself. (honestly compared to others I haven’t been on this earth long at all, but two decades seem pretty long if ya ask me, just sayin) What’s problematic about knowing absolutely what I want? well nothing, but the problem arises when factoring in the fundamentals of getting there.

In order to achieve the dream as they say, It takes hard work, dedication and some other things I’m not too familiar with. I find it tragic that someone can know precisely what they want in this life but refuse to put forth the necessary work in order to receive said dream, and that’s exactly where I’m at. Pity for one is the last thing I ask for, I have none for others as should they for me. Now before going on let me clear up a few things before I’m taken as a lazy bum, (although not far off) I have a great deal of the items I desired in my past life, ( stuff I wanted greatly as a teen growing up) most of the things I own were purchased by muah, some given by loved ones, I didn’t do all the work here, no shame in admitting I need you guys, and just to be distinct, by “items” I’m not just talking about materialistic things, I’m talking about the people I’ve met so far, the moments I’ve had, food, (oh man I could go on about my love for food) memories, etc, I know people and moments aren’t items whatsoever but categorizing everything & everyone I love into “items” is just more efficient. As we all know though Its not all about what you wanted as a kid, progression is a thing, I may finally have that stunning pc I longed for after saving up over a thousand smackers (nothing, I know) but that wont get me to where I want to be, that involves work and lots of it, a lot more than just saving up a couple zeros.

Now we come full circle, I love having everything I want, but there seems to be another thing I desire but cant seem to achieve, that would be the dream job everyone speaks so highly about. I just have to work extra extra hard at what I love for years upon years and I shall someday be granted said title, but that’s just my problem. Saving up a few bucks to gain the materialistic elements I desire & pushing myself to my maximum potential to progress to a career well suited for me are two totally different objectives, one takes literally no type of exponential skill at all and the other you must embody all your creativeness, skills, and passion into one, and never give up, for giving in is defeat, and there’s no room for failure if you legitimately want it.

“If you’re not willing to put in the work needed for you to obtain the lifestyle you want, then you must not truly want it”

I’m at a stalemate, all I want to do is nothing, and continue to be happy. Unfortunately that is quite the impossible task.