From falling flat on my good arm against some metal steps to gulibly falling for an over-the-phone scam, I’d say my thursday this time around has been nothing but entertaining to say the least. How is losing $170 entertaining you may be asking? Well, it’s not. That’s just how I’ve been treating problems as of lately, especially ones so miniscule. After the initial shock & confusion settles in, these former problems are now in the past and beyond reach, I can’t help but laugh at my ignorant mistakes nowadays “Oh rushi you’re too old to be this gulible, havent you learned your lesson yet?” I guess someday I’ll learn but clearly today isn’t that day.
I think I might be finally getting used to this “life” stuff, 20sum years later but that’s fine, better late than never right. I won’t lie though, I really can’t concieve a reality in which I’m enojoying myself 100% all the time aka a dreamworld. But maybe that’s not what life is about or something like that? Maybe the day to day task of livng, breathing, existing or whatever you wanna call it was very well meant to be a tedius never-ending game of Chess.
Maybe I am and have been chasing some dellusional dream that I’ll probably never achieve, idk I can’t tell yet. I think the longer I’m here the more impatient I get. I think I can finally accept that my post titled Getting There is now partially about me. I think that I’ll give that post a read.
It’s insane how someone so lazy can have so much going for them and be more than willing to trade it all for nothingness. I think I need to reevaluate my goals or something, I feel like I’m losing so much precious time, so many days go by in which I do nothing I truly enjoy, I’m working for paper that I have no attachment to, I lost that common human obsession for money a few years ago, it’s just a means of living comfortably, don’t get me wrong I love the luxuries but I’ve been on both sides.
I know that doubting dreams will get you nowhere fast but, is it really doubt if you’re striving for said “dream” whislt simultaneously realizing you’re also nowhere close to that fantasy, and probably never will be due to the high circumstances and demands of this life. Never will I be able to simply do nothing comfortably, and that is all I wish for.
Nice, finished that just in time to get a quick anime episode in & still get eight hours of sleep tonight, this is what we live for, no?
My life’s been at an all time high as of lately, which is the reason why writing on Rushi has been more scarce than usual, I’ve actually been somewhat busy with the musings of day to day life and learning the go-abouts of this so-called work-life balance properly, for once it has me jungling the things I love doing & priorities around like crazy to say the least. I have more than enough time to write, just nothing’s been on my mind really. I try not to think most times, because when I do I spiral. Anyway, dispite the gloomy context above my life is going swell actually, don’t worry I’m sure I will find the light that I’m looking for eventually, until then though mark my words……I will return.
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