Satisfaction

I remember when I was little all I used to want was a “spinny chair”, now I have a desk chair conveniently in my room next to my bed.

I remember back when I first started driving all I wanted was a car newer than the year 2000, now I have an 07′ and a 13′

I remember back when I used to want time to speed up, now I beg for life to ease up and let me “enjoy the moment”

I remember when all I used to want was the newest most advanced phone on the market, now I have a completely cracked up Iphone xr-something I would’ve definitely made fun of my highschool peers for lugging around back in the grade school days when popularity and expensive obejects mattered.

“I have everything I want” as my bank account name stated before I went into major debt (Story for another day.) The point is, why is it that I continue to aquire everything manifsted yet still remain “dissatisfied” with this life.

Easy answer

I’ll never be truly satisfied

And I’ve accepted that, let’s move on.

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I’ve made my life 10x more pleasant by simply letting go. Letting go of what? Well everything, from time to all my desperate wants, I let it all go and simply started to flow with the moment consuming anything & everything life had to throw at me, you can only dodge for so long. Things are a lot easier now, not in a physical sense-life is still as annoying and unforgiving as it was when I was a kid-but in a cerebral sense. I’ll be honest I don’t foresee myself legitimately enjoying this life anytime soon, I know exactly what I want and I also know that it is well past the stars, reachable but it’ll take some light-years to obtain. And that is what I’ve accepted, I’ve gotten tired of running around for year after year after year being so dissatisfied with my expectations of life, so I erased them. I erased all expectations all beliefs and all my time. Chasing apocryphal dreams started to take a toll on my frail mind, it was too much for me to continue to dream of the distant life I wanted so badly, so I slipped into the moment. Still, often times I slip out but that’s okay, it’s all constant motion after all.

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