Satisfaction

I remember when I was little all I used to want was a “spinny chair”, now I have a desk chair conveniently in my room next to my bed.

I remember back when I first started driving all I wanted was a car newer than the year 2000, now I have an 07′ and a 13′

I remember back when I used to want time to speed up, now I beg for life to ease up and let me “enjoy the moment”

I remember when all I used to want was the newest most advanced phone on the market, now I have a completely cracked up Iphone xr-something I would’ve definitely made fun of my highschool peers for lugging around back in the grade school days when popularity and expensive obejects mattered.

“I have everything I want” as my bank account name stated before I went into major debt (Story for another day.) The point is, why is it that I continue to aquire everything manifsted yet still remain “dissatisfied” with this life.

Easy answer

I’ll never be truly satisfied

And I’ve accepted that, let’s move on.

I’ve made my life 10x more pleasant by simply letting go. Letting go of what? Well everything, from time to all my desperate wants, I let it all go and simply started to flow with the moment consuming anything & everything life had to throw at me, you can only dodge for so long. Things are a lot easier now, not in a physical sense-life is still as annoying and unforgiving as it was when I was a kid-but in a cerebral sense. I’ll be honest I don’t foresee myself legitimately enjoying this life anytime soon, I know exactly what I want and I also know that it is well past the stars, reachable but it’ll take some light-years to obtain. And that is what I’ve accepted, I’ve gotten tired of running around for year after year after year being so dissatisfied with my expectations of life, so I erased them. I erased all expectations all beliefs and all my time. Chasing apocryphal dreams started to take a toll on my frail mind, it was too much for me to continue to dream of the distant life I wanted so badly, so I slipped into the moment. Still, often times I slip out but that’s okay, it’s all constant motion after all.