It’s interesting how we’re always waiting for something. Waiting around for this week to end, for the weekend to begin, for your next big event, for a shift to come to a closure after a long day, etc. Weirdly though as soon as that thing we were waiting on so graciously for finally comes & goes it leaves no evident trace because we’re already stuck on the next thing we’re “looking forward to”, an endless cycle if you will.
I’m looking forward to a Santa Barbara day-trip I planned with two friends of mine I’ve mentioned here on this blog before. Just a few days ago I was looking forward to a day in Los Angeles that an out-of-town friend and I had planned, that day came and went and now I’m on to the next thing. Before that even, the only thing on my mind was my stepmom’s birthday party and how it would turn out since on this side of the family birthday parties n such are taken more than seriously each year, which just results in more stress-per-expectation but I’m getting off topic here, I digress.
I guess what I’m trying to get across within this 30-minute time-span I have whilst writing this on my lunch is to stop waiting, I feel like if I let it happen I’ll probably spend my whole life waiting for something, then when that “something” finally comes around it’ll wither into another nothing within the blink of an eye.
Four years ago (wow 2018 was four years ago already!?) I spoke about relishing in the moment often and my crusade on learning the in’s n out’s of simply being “present”, can’t say I’ve been succeeding in this “moment-ting” as of late though, I’ve just had so much on my mind lately and to say that things have started to pile up and get a little overwhelming would probably be an understatement. I think my problem with remaining present is that I don’t always wanna be in the exact moment I’m in.